Cat Contract.

[icarus]

It is my understanding that upon acquiring a cat one has engendered certain responsibilities in exchange for certain attentions. I have held up my end of the bargain. The cat is:

- fed with reasonable regularity
- given a clean kitty litter box
- fondled and generally coddled
- entertained for exercise and play-time

We have even gone above and beyond the call of duty with:

- two carpeted cat-trees (one five-foot and one seven-foot) for, yes, one cat
- numerous catnip toys, bells, balls and baubles
- a regular supply of the much-relished wheat grass
- an array of carboard boxes and paper bags
- special cat treats, dried shrimp in particular
- cat-shaped toy companions for wrestling
- the regular sampling (sniffing, licking) of human food
- occasional leniency regarding the "no cats on coffee table" clause

The cat's end of this bargain is simple: he is a pet, therefore must be available for petting.

While our cat has maintained his petting responsibilities with regards to us, he seems to be under the impression that our friends -- namely wildernessguru's buddy The Puppy -- are exempt. Whenever The Puppy reaches out a hand, the aforementioned cat cries as if being tormented and, if pressed, flicks his tail in preparation to bite. But his contract clearly states that petting is to be provided for all and sundry (The Puppy being sundry).

Now the chastened (and hurt) Puppy is on his way home to his girlfriend. Said cat is stretched out happily on the couch, satisfied that he has evaded his responsibilities during yet another visit.

My case is pending before the Cat Magistrate, and until then, kitty gets no treats.

Comments

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

You can refer any future comments to our attorney with Growltiger, LLP.

But as I'm sure you've noted, The Puppy (aka Terence Singer)'s own two cats, Rocky and Tiger, have met with the press and given statements concerning his gentleness and consideration (pay particular attention to the extra breakfast and Rocky's purring into the phone to his loving Human). Our neighbourhood cats -- namely the Maine Coon on the corner and the prowling Tabby Tomcat -- also say "Mreow?" to such statements.

The statements from our former pet sitter that "Monte is shy, but friendly when he gets to know you" and from another friend of ours "He certainly played with me... I dunno, man, I think he just doesn't like Terence" should not be construed as damaging. The contract implies an equal treatment of all Visiting and Temporary Humans.

Icarus