Another drabble - Ron/Luna/Harry
Jun. 30th, 2003 12:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusA New Theory
by Icarus
Ron shrugged. "Apparently, sex produces some kind of protective magic barrier... I'm not sure if I follow it exactly..."
"It's the Thesphalian effect. It's stronger if there are more people involved," Luna's voice came from what was technically George's bedroom, though the twin were more than happy to provide for Ron's weekend adventures. ('Better than broom closets, old chap,' George had winked. Fred had added, 'Besides, this way we can keep an eye on you.' Ron was a little chary of what Fred meant by that, but decided it was well worth the risk.)
Fred and George glanced at each other in wonder.
Ron translated. "That means the more, the merrier."
"Wow, Ron, your girlfriend is completely crazy -" said Fred.
"- you are soooo lucky," added George.
"Well, she's not my girlfriend, technically," Ron began.
"What?"
"How so?"
"Hey Luna," Ron bent his head around the half-open door, "are you my girlfriend?"
"Of course not. The concept of monogamy was invented by the Jub-Jub tribe of Orelliphalians and is really not natural to the human species," she explained calmly.
Ron spread his hands as if to say 'I rest my case.' He beamed.
"Are those two going to get undressed? Because if not, we have other things to do, and Harry lost his erection while you were standing there." There was a splutter from the other side of the door. The twins' jaws fell open. Then they hurriedly started pulling off their shoes, hopping as they popped off their socks.
"No! Wait -! Luna, these are my brothers!" Ron had gone hopelessly red.
"What difference does that make?" she said.
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ursule's follow-up hereShoot. Apparently that link doesn't work.
A New Theory
Ursule's portion
There were two of them, but he was bigger.
He was actually bigger. When Ron realized that he froze long enough to let a well-placed punch slam him in the nose; but he recovered and hit back, again and again, not so much aiming as letting his body fall at his opponents . . . If you fought someone often enough, Ron thought, it was like gravity.
Far away, Luna whispered, "Do you think wombats do that? In the Spring?"
"It's summer," Harry muttered. Ron felt rather than saw him, perched on the bed, pushing his glasses up with one finger . . . staying out of a fight he didn't understand for the first time in his life, maybe.
And Fred tripped Ron, and George was on top of him; but he was bigger now, he understood that suddenly, and it was only a matter of time before George was underneath, and Ron was banging his head into the floor. Pound, pound, pound. "The bear when I was three," Ron insisted. "The lolly when I was seven. The coat you ripped before I got it. The-- the--"
Cold water over him, and he was frozen. There were two of them, and they were allowed to work magic. "Honest, mate," said Fred. "We didn't think you'd care."
"In the Jub-Jub tribe," said Luna, "women buy men with a pound of mud . . ."
Ron shook the spell off, and stood. He was bright red down under the neck of his shirt, he could tell. "Look, this isn't about anything weird, OK? It's just . . ."
"It's OK," George told him. "You never were too good at sharing."
The twins sauntered out, pretending their wounds were invisible.
"Hey!" Harry yelled after them.
"What?"
"Shut the door already!" Harry fumbled at his half-undone pants, which betrayed an unmistakable swelling.
"Oh!" said Luna. "You found it! I often misplace them, you know . . ."
Harry's mouth was half-open, his reply breathless and indistinguishable. Ron wondered just what had gone on, while he'd been beating the twins.
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 12:15 am (UTC)*weeps*
~Squee
no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 12:30 am (UTC)That boy is far, far too intense-looking for his own damned good. Takes perfectly decent, upstanding individuals (and me) and makes us tap our feet until he hits the age of consent!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 12:33 am (UTC)I went ahead and just put
*grins* Now it's my turn to add the next part.
~Icarus
no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 12:34 am (UTC)Well depends on where you live.
He's of age in CANADA.
Gotta love those Canadians.
~Squee
no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 01:08 am (UTC)This fandom doesn't attract pedophiles: it creates them. :P *sulks because there were no boys - or anyone else - as pretty as Dan around when she was that age*
Re:
Date: 2003-06-30 01:13 am (UTC)*falls on floor*
However, I think Harry is not nearly as cute as either Ron or Draco.
~Squee
no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 01:16 am (UTC)Hmmm... in that case, I'll trade you a Tom and a Rupert for an age-accelerated Dan. ;) And a Christian Coulson if you've got one handy. *hopeful look*
no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 01:20 am (UTC)I'll wait until she goes to work and then goes fidn him and wrap him up for you.
~Squee
no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 01:32 am (UTC)*packs up Tom and Rupert*remembers to add a few airholes, as necropedophilia is just so far beyond wrong it's... well, wrong*adds a few drops of growth acceleration hormone at stands back as they hit 18*
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 12:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 01:42 am (UTC)It's a lookalike um, model. Originally posted over at parry_hotter a few months back, the full image is a bit more explicit.
And am suprised I know all that, since I'm a complete graphics dunce and not even a Radcliffe fan girl. Although Tom Felton is only a few months from legality...
no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 02:14 am (UTC)Plus, I have no glasses at the moment and, hence, the visual acuity of roadkill, so I've got an excuse for making the mistake. *grin*
*wander off to gawp at the Christian Coulson lookalike she found by accident on a porn site, or possibly just to sleep*
Re:
Date: 2003-06-30 02:31 am (UTC)I try to resist Dan also - just a little TOO young for me, the Felton is just about excusable but I think my housemates might crack at any more underage boys adorning my desktop!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 02:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 05:43 pm (UTC)~Icarus
Hmph again.
Date: 2003-06-30 10:17 am (UTC)*sniggers in a very juvenile way*
Mad Martha
Re: Hmph again.
Date: 2003-06-30 05:44 pm (UTC)~Icarus
Re: Hmph again.
Date: 2003-07-01 11:35 pm (UTC)