icarus: Snape by mysterious artist (Default)
[personal profile] icarus
Thought I'd be blunt there. Sorry to those of you who are reading this at work. I'm eating over my keyboard right now, so I'm going to make this brief.

#1 - tighten up that POV!
Sex is intimate, therefore, you really need to be clear on your POV, there needs to be immediacy. Don't lapse into sweeping epic narrative voice here! You'd be surprised at how many people get scared of 'not doing this right' and start writing their sex scenes in a very distant voice the moment things get hot and heavy.

As soon as you use the word 'they', take a close look at why. That's not a rule, but it is a red flag.

Oh, and please, to invoke Minotaur, beware depersonalising: not 'the hard cock' but 'his hard cock', not 'a hand' but 'her hand.' They are attached. Think about it. If you're in bed with someone you care about, and they squeeze your arse, to you really think 'a hand' did this? *shudders* Scary thought. No. He did.

#2 - involve all the senses
Other areas of our fic can be caught in mental processing, but sex involves...

touch...
soft skin, callused hands catching on fine fabric...

smell...
he smelled of soap, and the grass clippings that were still caught in his hair...*

close up visuals...
sweat stuck his hair to his forehead...

taste...
he tasted like cinnamon, and the faint buzz of something he'd taken...*

sound...
sheets whispered and rustled... a shoe dropped with a loud clunk and they froze...

*Note: do please have a good explanation for the taste/smell established - (thanks [livejournal.com profile] fee_absinthe, and [livejournal.com profile] tinderblast) - he tasted like apple... the half-eaten apple dropped to the ground between them, ignored.

#3 - remember your environment!
The experience of the envionment plays a Huge role. Each setting has its own quirks. This enriches the experience your reader has.

Ever had sex in the outdoors?
Then you know the person on top gets cold and you tend to want to be on the bottom. Heh. Where it's warm. And there are hazards, bugs, sticks and leaves. On the plus side is the feeling of open space and wind, and all the sounds and sights around you.

In front of a fireplace?
One side of you gets overly hot, the other side cool, if you're very close to it. And oooo, to touch your lover when they've been baked like that.

In a nice soft bed?
The sheets get tangled, get in the way, and there's often a squeak, or the headboard knocks against the wall in a way that informs your roommate. Ooops.

In the water?
Like hell you have, not anal anyway. All lubricant washes off. Great fantasy though. 'Tis a great place for blowjobs, however.

So that's good for a start.

More sex tonight!

Date: 2003-07-07 02:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
On the bottom? On the hard, pointy granite, the scritchy sand

I didn't cover prickly hay either, or that slick, melty slide along ice, as one of you tries to hang on and get some traction.

Ow. Granite. Yes. Not to mention the sandpaper feel of concrete.

~Icarus

Profile

icarus: Snape by mysterious artist (Default)
icarusancalion

May 2024

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415 161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Feb. 25th, 2026 04:47 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios