Writing a Good Fuck
Jul. 7th, 2003 12:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusThought I'd be blunt there. Sorry to those of you who are reading this at work. I'm eating over my keyboard right now, so I'm going to make this brief.
#1 - tighten up that POV!
Sex is intimate, therefore, you really need to be clear on your POV, there needs to be immediacy. Don't lapse into sweeping epic narrative voice here! You'd be surprised at how many people get scared of 'not doing this right' and start writing their sex scenes in a very distant voice the moment things get hot and heavy.
As soon as you use the word 'they', take a close look at why. That's not a rule, but it is a red flag.
Oh, and please, to invoke Minotaur, beware depersonalising: not 'the hard cock' but 'his hard cock', not 'a hand' but 'her hand.' They are attached. Think about it. If you're in bed with someone you care about, and they squeeze your arse, to you really think 'a hand' did this? *shudders* Scary thought. No. He did.
#2 - involve all the senses
Other areas of our fic can be caught in mental processing, but sex involves...
touch...
soft skin, callused hands catching on fine fabric...
smell...
he smelled of soap, and the grass clippings that were still caught in his hair...*
close up visuals...
sweat stuck his hair to his forehead...
taste...
he tasted like cinnamon, and the faint buzz of something he'd taken...*
sound...
sheets whispered and rustled... a shoe dropped with a loud clunk and they froze...
*Note: do please have a good explanation for the taste/smell established - (thanks![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fee_absinthe, and tinderblast) - he tasted like apple... the half-eaten apple dropped to the ground between them, ignored.
#3 - remember your environment!
The experience of the envionment plays a Huge role. Each setting has its own quirks. This enriches the experience your reader has.
Ever had sex in the outdoors?
Then you know the person on top gets cold and you tend to want to be on the bottom. Heh. Where it's warm. And there are hazards, bugs, sticks and leaves. On the plus side is the feeling of open space and wind, and all the sounds and sights around you.
In front of a fireplace?
One side of you gets overly hot, the other side cool, if you're very close to it. And oooo, to touch your lover when they've been baked like that.
In a nice soft bed?
The sheets get tangled, get in the way, and there's often a squeak, or the headboard knocks against the wall in a way that informs your roommate. Ooops.
In the water?
Like hell you have, not anal anyway. All lubricant washes off. Great fantasy though. 'Tis a great place for blowjobs, however.
So that's good for a start.
More sex tonight!
#1 - tighten up that POV!
Sex is intimate, therefore, you really need to be clear on your POV, there needs to be immediacy. Don't lapse into sweeping epic narrative voice here! You'd be surprised at how many people get scared of 'not doing this right' and start writing their sex scenes in a very distant voice the moment things get hot and heavy.
As soon as you use the word 'they', take a close look at why. That's not a rule, but it is a red flag.
Oh, and please, to invoke Minotaur, beware depersonalising: not 'the hard cock' but 'his hard cock', not 'a hand' but 'her hand.' They are attached. Think about it. If you're in bed with someone you care about, and they squeeze your arse, to you really think 'a hand' did this? *shudders* Scary thought. No. He did.
#2 - involve all the senses
Other areas of our fic can be caught in mental processing, but sex involves...
touch...
soft skin, callused hands catching on fine fabric...
smell...
he smelled of soap, and the grass clippings that were still caught in his hair...*
close up visuals...
sweat stuck his hair to his forehead...
taste...
he tasted like cinnamon, and the faint buzz of something he'd taken...*
sound...
sheets whispered and rustled... a shoe dropped with a loud clunk and they froze...
*Note: do please have a good explanation for the taste/smell established - (thanks
fee_absinthe, and tinderblast) - he tasted like apple... the half-eaten apple dropped to the ground between them, ignored.#3 - remember your environment!
The experience of the envionment plays a Huge role. Each setting has its own quirks. This enriches the experience your reader has.
Ever had sex in the outdoors?
Then you know the person on top gets cold and you tend to want to be on the bottom. Heh. Where it's warm. And there are hazards, bugs, sticks and leaves. On the plus side is the feeling of open space and wind, and all the sounds and sights around you.
In front of a fireplace?
One side of you gets overly hot, the other side cool, if you're very close to it. And oooo, to touch your lover when they've been baked like that.
In a nice soft bed?
The sheets get tangled, get in the way, and there's often a squeak, or the headboard knocks against the wall in a way that informs your roommate. Ooops.
In the water?
Like hell you have, not anal anyway. All lubricant washes off. Great fantasy though. 'Tis a great place for blowjobs, however.
So that's good for a start.
More sex tonight!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-07-08 08:57 am (UTC)To rewrite Neil Young, "I wanna live with a cinnamon boy" .. or at least, smell him?
TBoy and I were talking about smells in fan fiction recently, as she's written a brilliant short piece, 'Eau de Potter' about, well, scents and men.
http://au.geocities.com/tboy_xxx/eau.html
And I echoed your point, fee absinthe, as I'd noticed how characters always smell like vanilla, pine, cinnamon, lemon, MINT, etc., everything nice. Never sweat. And boys have such a distinctive smell, really, that's nothing like any of those odours.
brodie
no subject
Date: 2003-07-08 12:19 pm (UTC)And that scent is all very different. Oh... *sighs* I had one boyfriends who smelled of clean sweat, the kind just after a workout (rather than that rancid, under-your-armpit all day sweat). Another smelled sort of like a little boy, hard to describe, it was a sweet unidentifiable scent. A third smelled a little like saffron, spice-and-clean, because he wore all these shirts made in India and burned a lot of Tibetan incense. Then there was the cloying cologne. *cough*cough*choke*
~Icarus
no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 01:54 am (UTC)I would never have believed that could be hot but ... you're right, it is *so* well written. It rings true, to me, as a clever description of fetishist behaviour. I *cannot* believe I was just persuaded that sweat is sexy!!
On cinnamon flavoured boys, I had a thought last night. Perhaps, in the wizarding world, there really is a spell that allows you to determine how you smell and taste. A perfume that works internally, changing the chemicals in your very glands.
*fights off tempting plot bunny in which the boys of Hogwarts experiment with this spell and then walk around licking each other to sample the various flavours*
*fights harder*
no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 04:37 am (UTC)Give in ... resistance is futile ...
(er, please? It sounds like a great story)
brodie
no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 05:28 am (UTC)I was *just* winning the war and making myself focus on the chapter I was *supposed* to be finishing but now strawberry-flavoured-Ron and butterbeer-flavoured-Seamus is just proving too funny to resist.
Sorry, Icarus my sweet. I will take this back to my own LJ now and stop spamming yours. And I do agree with your comments on the flavour of boys. I like the examples you give. The apple is a clever way to make your character taste of something more expressive than wet mouth, but without spreading that gross lie that boys naturally taste like flavours of bubblebath or jelly bean.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 10:32 am (UTC)I know!
In the story, there's no way to tell what flavour the boys will turn out to be, so curiosity...
Bonus points awarded if the flavour reflects the personality. Obviously this is a GredandForge experiment gone wrong.
"Ha! Guess what? Dean isn't chocolate-flavoured. He's vanilla!" Ron laughed.
"Yeah. And Malfoy's the flavour of sour grapes."
"Uh... Harry? How many blokes have you licked?"
~Icarus
no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 01:26 pm (UTC)The only elements I'd come up with were:
* It's a GredandForge experiment
* Everyone has a different flavour which reflects their personality
* Multiple tasting of other bodies will be required.
And I come back to find ... well ... snap!! (Great minds, evidently!) But my version differs wildly from yours in that Dean is popcorn flavour and *Harry* is vanilla. There!
Am off to write stupid licky story now. If it takes me more than 24 hours, I will have spent more time than the concept is worth. Any title ideas, snap-girl? I was thinking the simple "Cinnamon flavoured boys" sums up the depth of it, but suggestions are welcome if you're having a slow day!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 11:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 11:54 pm (UTC)Sadly, I don't do HP fic myself, and I think this one'd require me to have a handle on the characters before I started. Sigh.