Slapping together a short story, already a page over....

[icarus]

Okay, assignment's in. Thanks for your help and suggestions.

I hated this (fragment of a) story, but sometimes you just have to put something on a page to do the assignment. Chatted with the professor after class and sure enough, the point was just to get a sample of our writing.

Comments

[rike-tikki-tavi.livejournal.com]

At the moment it seems to be more a story about David and his sister, than the cartographer. Don't know if the challenge meant, that you have to put the cartographer somewhere in there or if he has to be the main character. From this snippet it sounds more like the first option.

I like David, though I'm still trying to figure out his age. The game he's playing reminds me of stuff I've seen smaller kids doing, but his observations and speech pattern is more that of a teen.

I'm not sure it that helps. *eyes tin of porn hopefully*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I became very fond of David. He's in that odd preteen stage 11/12. I kind of want it to be about the kids, since they're the ones who make the call on the cartographer, but we'll see.

*pass the tin around*

Icarus