How To Write Poor English
Apr. 23rd, 2004 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusFor ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hp_dungeons I'm writing Percy's slavic lover, Niko Molokov ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
niko_molokov. Yes, I left the RPG but I've kept on a bit as a minor player. Or two.
Todaysharp_tongue asked for some ideas on rotten English. I had so much fun with this, I thought I'd pass it along.
Here's a sample of Niko's crappy English:
Niko's poor English comes from my own lousy Tibetan and teaching English as a second language.
To write a foreigner, here's what you want to screw up -
Word order and missing words: Russians tend to leave out articles and prepositions or use them incorrectly. Prepositional phrases are tough for most foreign speakers. Germans on the other hand tend to throw the verb at the end of the sentence.
Tenses: Nouns are easy. Verbs on the other hand... When it's a word they had to look up in a dictionary, they will use the infinitive because they won't know how to conjugate it and won't try. This is because most languages have more than three main tenses. Often they will use the infinitive without the article 'to.' Otherwise, they will often just mess their tenses up (unless they know the phrase from the phrasebook -- that will be note perfect), and say, use present tense and infinitive for everything.
Obscure words: When they look up a word in the dictionary, they will look up the exact counterpart to their word in their language. This often lead them to a very obscure and strange-sounding word in our language. Use a Thesaurus to find words that are strange that have a similar meaning to what you want. Today Niko came up with effusion for 'spit.'
Idiomatic speech: English has idioms that make little sense if taken literally. "He was a bad ass!" ('Bad ass?' huh?). Yet the Russians in particular love idioms because it's closer to their colourful way of speaking. They will often not quite get the idioms right (i.e. "He was a bad butt.") The other thing they will do is translate their own idioms into English. These often get the meaning across in a very colourful, if bizarre sort of way. (Niko said once, "A poison tree must be cut at the root. This root is her tricky venom-emmission snakes.")
Misheard phrases: Contractions in particular are hard to hear, so a foreigner will hear 'you'll go to jail' as 'you go to jail.' They'll also drop words that aren't stressed.
Get it right... sometimes: Be sure to throw in the random absolutely correct phrase, usually in areas where they've had to actually use their English.
Travellers will say, "Where is the train station?" beautifully, and often be able to dicker. Niko will be pretty good when the topic turns to violence and discussing details of a 'job.' Society people will have a few cocktail party phrases they can pull off smoothly, as well talk about some basic information about themselves. (Straight out of the textbook you see.)A Quidditch Player will become surprisingly fluent when it comes to discussing Quidditch scores and standings.
Happy gibberish!
hp_dungeons I'm writing Percy's slavic lover, Niko Molokov niko_molokov. Yes, I left the RPG but I've kept on a bit as a minor player. Or two.Today
sharp_tongue asked for some ideas on rotten English. I had so much fun with this, I thought I'd pass it along.Here's a sample of Niko's crappy English:
It is done. Anything you need, you ask your brother Niko.
You don't know the Trilliam cube? Ah, I forget your country is so backward in these intrication (good word? Used dictionary, can't ask Percy) of Dark Artist.
This is our secret. Percy, he would not approve.
You send your owls not to me but send to him. Use the Sigeulo Charm and write to Percy a letter over the letter to me. Me, he will be suspect if we write to-fro. Percy's long nose dips into every pool. But you are his innocent baby brother. Innocent blue eyes, that are so smiling. (Good Auror. Mad-Eye Moody no good, easy to spot. You, maybe you work in Quidditch store? Too nice to be a Auror. You listen to Niko, fructify - that okay word? - 'little boy' face, these happy eyes. Practice stupid looks. Others miscalculate? This is best.)
Tell me what you need and why. I give simple advice but, maybe we find a better way if I know what you want?
There is Imperius and Imperius and Imperius, nothing is better and is very fun. Dance, dance. Yes, there are others, charms and potions. But, they have easy counter-charm and these potions they wear off. Veritaserum, tscha, that's easy, I have some I'll send. Egypt has no laws and makes the best. There's a trick. Use a weak serum and quick questions, ten minutes. This breaks down and is gone quick. No one can prove it. Others, they are in the pee for days.
Legal is no problem: just do not get caught.
Don't use memory charm -- memory is connected, Percy say before… hmm… assissiative. I think. Is okay. One blank on picture of Ron makes other blanks on name Ron. Easy to see who cast. But if they don't see you or recognise, then okay, use it.
For more, I need more explain. - Your brother, Niko
Niko's poor English comes from my own lousy Tibetan and teaching English as a second language.
To write a foreigner, here's what you want to screw up -
Word order and missing words: Russians tend to leave out articles and prepositions or use them incorrectly. Prepositional phrases are tough for most foreign speakers. Germans on the other hand tend to throw the verb at the end of the sentence.
Tenses: Nouns are easy. Verbs on the other hand... When it's a word they had to look up in a dictionary, they will use the infinitive because they won't know how to conjugate it and won't try. This is because most languages have more than three main tenses. Often they will use the infinitive without the article 'to.' Otherwise, they will often just mess their tenses up (unless they know the phrase from the phrasebook -- that will be note perfect), and say, use present tense and infinitive for everything.
Obscure words: When they look up a word in the dictionary, they will look up the exact counterpart to their word in their language. This often lead them to a very obscure and strange-sounding word in our language. Use a Thesaurus to find words that are strange that have a similar meaning to what you want. Today Niko came up with effusion for 'spit.'
Idiomatic speech: English has idioms that make little sense if taken literally. "He was a bad ass!" ('Bad ass?' huh?). Yet the Russians in particular love idioms because it's closer to their colourful way of speaking. They will often not quite get the idioms right (i.e. "He was a bad butt.") The other thing they will do is translate their own idioms into English. These often get the meaning across in a very colourful, if bizarre sort of way. (Niko said once, "A poison tree must be cut at the root. This root is her tricky venom-emmission snakes.")
Misheard phrases: Contractions in particular are hard to hear, so a foreigner will hear 'you'll go to jail' as 'you go to jail.' They'll also drop words that aren't stressed.
Get it right... sometimes: Be sure to throw in the random absolutely correct phrase, usually in areas where they've had to actually use their English.
Travellers will say, "Where is the train station?" beautifully, and often be able to dicker. Niko will be pretty good when the topic turns to violence and discussing details of a 'job.' Society people will have a few cocktail party phrases they can pull off smoothly, as well talk about some basic information about themselves. (Straight out of the textbook you see.)A Quidditch Player will become surprisingly fluent when it comes to discussing Quidditch scores and standings.
Happy gibberish!
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-12 09:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-12 09:43 am (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-11-12 09:54 am (UTC)Sorry, going to stop whining. *g*
How's it going? Good day? How's the cat?
no subject
Date: 2004-11-12 11:36 am (UTC)You may join me in twitching on the floor with withdrawal. *shudder, twitch-twitch*
Icarus
P.S. The kitty's doing better. I need to do an update on that -- he was allergic to Frontline. He was wiped out for days, but Thursday started to act normally again.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-12 11:43 am (UTC)You know what I mean. :)
*curses all who are able to write tons of fics all the time, dfbnetbhbdfnpojrg!*
*pets your kitty with an old oven glove on*
*from a distance*
no subject
Date: 2004-11-12 11:50 am (UTC)-- grabs green-eyed monster, beats it to death with a shovel -- stuffs into garbage can.
-- give one of those really "gosh-I'm-so-happy-for-you-or-I-would-be-if-I-had-one-gracious-bone-in-my-body" smiles.
"Wow, congratulations," Icarus says between gritted teeth that look suspiciously like they're grinding.
Y'know, if the kitty were back to normal, he'd probably bite. Just to reinforce his personal space. (It's all a bluff though. Go ahead and pet him -- he did this when he was the size of my boot.)
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-11-12 12:00 pm (UTC)Of course, when I'm finally allowed to get my writing groove on, I'm sure I'll be swanning and smug. (But I will *not* post numbers of words, OMG why? It seems like a trend at the moment, and it's never going to do any good to anyone else. It's just makes everyone compare themselves to one another, and there's quite enough of that already.)
I was thinking, to get off the subject of my fragile ego *g* - you're a translator? Or have done some translation? Or something? Cos I'm translating a financial report from German (it's soooo long and OMFG I'm bored), and wondered if you knew of any net resources, like free dictionaries or spellcheckers, or something...? (German/English both ways, and French/English) I haven't the money to invest as yet and am trawling through using the old-fashioned method of paper dictionaries. It's killing me... Also financial/educational German would be a big plus. Just thought I'd check.
*attacks kitty before he can attack me*