Sent new version of that OOB scene to the betas.

[icarus]

The section I planned to post on Out Of Bounds was supposed to be longer but one scene isn't working out.

Just sent a complete re-write to my betas. I'm not happy with it at all. In fact, I'm less happy with it than I was before. May have to reorder some scenes as well.

The good news is that two (far, far in the distant future) scenes did come out well. Those are beta'd and ready, parked in the driveway with their engines humming. Of roughly 25 scenes for the summer, 12 are written and ready to go.

Just held up by the other scenes strung between them.

Comments

[dossier.livejournal.com]

It might be that it contains more than one scene that you found somewhat troublesome. I just sent a reply--I think overall, it flows extremely well, and the one scene that might be joyless? works very well with the tone of the rest of the scenes.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I think I just got attached to my original conception of that scene -- which I didn't write down while it was buzzing around my head. That'll teach me.

I'm going to be happy with that scene, whether I like it or not.

I am happy with the new flow, and in a mood-swingy sort of way, I am now beaming and pleased.

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

I like the flow of the new sections. I didn't find anything problematical...other than trying to get my computer to cooperate. The never ending battle.

Don't lose heart. It's coming along splendidly.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm nowhere near losing heart. Just my usual mood-swingy thing around this time of the month.

John ran his fingertips over the raised nail-marks down the slope of Rodney's shoulder. His skin was soft, pale, and Rodney had told the truth when he said that he bruised easily. He found the pale purple marks on his ribs just under his arms, noted the red hand prints slowly disappearing on his thighs. John stroked back up the nail marks and over the smooth curve of Rodney's rounded back where Rodney sat up in bed facing John, legs curled under him, elbows on his knees.

"Sorry about that," John smirked, not sounding sorry at all. He found more nail marks trailing down his lower back to his ass.

Rodney glanced over at him and his eyes flickered shyly as he looked away, a smile teasing at his mouth. "No, you're not."

Just a thank you tidbit. I have no idea where to fit it.

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

Yummy.

You could put it in the section where John is in his cast and acting a bit feral in bed??? It's too hot to not use.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh, ha, now it's my turn to get lost in my outline. Which scene was that?