Joe Flanigan's astrology chart.

[icarus]

Bored last night, but unwilling to go to bed or do actual work, I started doing Joe Flanigan's astrology chart.



Okay, yes, he has all that heavy-handed Capricorn-ness. Yes, he has that managerial ability and fine intellect. Yes, he has a very serious sense of right and wrong (with ultra high standards for all, plus a few unconscious yet convenient loopholes for himself) -- but other than that, this is the most... feminine... chart I've ever read.

Are we sure he's straight?

I mean, check out that Mars in Libra, that "let's all get along," cooperative, "let's be fair," careful not to step on any toes, restrained actor. And over there, that vain, insufferably cute-tastic Jupiter - Venus opposition (complete with sweet tooth, aww, give the little boy a cookie). The playful, spontaneous and oh-so-available Venus trine Uranus. And that "hell hath no fury" possessive moody moon in Scorpio. The ineffable and vague Saturn in Pices, brooding on past wrongs. The melodramatic Ingrid Bergman-like "aloneness" and personal distance and mystique of Venus in Capricorn.

So much "look at me" and "pay attention to me," using attraction, and oh, so much love of creature comforts, of tasteful surroundings --

-- I swear, I read this and I'm expecting a Hollywood starlet from the 1940s, dripping with diamonds.

Instead we have... Joe. With his shirt untucked.

Huh?

Tres amusement.


ETA: The great thing about astrology? Voyeurism.

This chart suggests that he has such jealousy and fear of being cheated on that he'd happily put one of those electric dog collars on whomever he's with. On the other hand, it also shows that--if I'm reading this right--he pushes it to the edge with his flirting. And sometimes tips over that edge.

Comments

Yes, I know this is too much, but it's also too much fun.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Bear in mind that right now I'm just quoting the books, not putting in much interpretive effort or making sure everything's given the right emphasis.

Time for another negative trait. *g* This one is problematic because there's nothing to ameliorate it, while his dictatorial side has his idealism and good intentions to help.

Onward:

He is sickeningly sweet, boring others. If he comes from a well-to-do background, or has money now, he can be spoiled and overly involved in meaningless social activity. Laziness (remember the indolence, depending too much on others?), self-indulgence, and love of luxury may be in evidence (that love of luxury turns up elsewhere). He may be conceited, thinking he's more desireable than he is. He might have the attitude, especially if born to wealth, that everything should be done for him. (With that Capricorn I'd say that he's less likely to be like this.)

He can be maudlin and given to flowery religious sentiments. Often hypocrisy shows itself when something practical has to be done to help those in need. (Uh-oh, there's that "all talk, doesnn't practice what he preaches" tendency again). He may take too much for granted concerning others, mostly in regard to things done for him (crappy tipper?). Marriage problems center around matters of religion.

He likes to be the center of attention and he's far from reticent. Somehow he gains the attention he wants.

There can be overindulgence in eating, especially sweets (hee!). Money can be spent wastefully on luxuries. (Well, we know he's frugal. Lives the high life but makes sure he gets a good deal?)

A little be more about this trait:

He's expansive, optimistic (balancing out his neurosis), self-confident. He has an abundance of energy and a strong constitution (okay, neurosis will play out psychologically, not physically). He's generous and benevolent -- but -- expects personal admiration and appreciation in return. (Aha. Now we gets some of they flavor of that spiritual dissonance.) He likes to do things in a lavish, ceremonious scale, which explains his love of religious pageantry (I swear to god, religion is all over his chart) and -- drama. Parades and religious rituals appeal to his sense of grandeur. He's also attracted to religious art, sculpture, and music, as well as art history. He's fond of lavish parties and social occasions.

He has leadership ability, dignity, but his abilities fan the fires of conceit, producing vainglory and arrogance. (Ah, yes, again.) He's going to have to learn what's really great, you know, inner qualities. (Other parts of the chart says he knows this, or at least has learned it as he grows older.) If he figures it out, he'll be reliable, honest, generous, and steadfast -- and then he'll be admired and loved, radiating warmth and genuine affection. He loves kids and is a great teacher, interested in their moral development.

He should watch it in the stock market. Unwise gambling can cause ruin and public disgrace (that's what it says). He'll likely make money in... entertainment industries, artistic endeavors, sports, and education.