Fandom Wank - I actually read one for the first time

[icarus]

Six months ago I told epicyclical (I think it was her, either that or she replied to it in someone else's journal) that I clicked on a something called 'Fandom Wank' from a link in someone's journal once, blinked at it, "who are these people and why do I care?" and hit the Back button thinking "that's three seconds of my life I'll never get back." (And if I've ever been on this thing don't tell me because I honestly don't know and like it that way.)

Well, I heard about a wank-thing in someone else's journal and... okay, I clicked for the hot icon, but I did try to read it because I realised I knew both parties.

I see why people do this wank stuff. It's rubber-necking. A little like a car crash in slow motion. The argument developes from it's petty origins, veers out of control, wipes out several other cars (as people choose up sides) and then crosses into on-coming traffic. It's horrific, yet there's something amazing about the amount of damage just talking on ones cell-phone (or a livejournal) can do. Mere words.

But after about three or four comments, I felt a little ill with the mean-spiritedness. I showed it to wildernessguru and he got depressed -- and he didn't even know the people. "Why did you show me that?" he asked. I looked for the bottom line of the argument, and it was simple and rather petty. Nothing you could bring into a court of law, just a matter of opinion, though I suppose a case for defamation in the aftermath could be made if you worked really hard at it. A lawyer once told me that companies don't get in trouble for what they do, that's usually fairly simple. But the weird things they do to deal with it is where they cross the line into illegal territory.

So I propose a Wank Survival Kit.

Airbags and good Anti-lock breaks.

If a simple discussion starts to skid, the ability to stop and the use of some patience can keep the car from wiping out others. sparrohawk once said, "If you just leave it alone, it'll usually go away." Always remember the original argument and who the original argument was with -- it was rather small, n'est pas? Just a matter of opinion?

Emergency food supply and blankets.

When feelings are hurt it is best to tend to the injured right away. The temptation is to start to blame and choose up sides to retaliate. Instead, send private emails to friends, and chat in Y!M, etc. There is no wank a good vat of Haagen Dazs can't solve.

Walk away from the scene of the accident.

While I would never recommend this for a real accident if you have a ten-car pile-up in Wankdom, it's best not to stand around watching. This takes iron control. But a few things can help:

- never read other people's wanks. (Don't get in the habit.)
- never throw your own opinion in the fray of other people's wanks. (It is addictive.)
- don't bookmark wankfest sites. (If you don't know where the action is, so much the better -- you won't know where to look when it's you.)
- don't check the LJs of the "offending parties." (Be generous. Give them their time to vent.)

It might take a time out from fandom or week out of LiveJournal to be able to do this, give yourself some time to cool off. In fact, I have a wonderful idea: write a story!

Consult with your inner attorney.

Once you've finished your third vat of Haagen Dazs, have spoken with some supportive friends who've told you everything you want to hear and are feeling better... try to examine your own part in the matter. Now don't blame yourself. We're all only human. But how could this have been prevented? Examine:

- what was was the original argument again?
- why was I so upset about something so absurd?
- did it tie in to some other deeper issues that I can use this help me?

This is a private process and good mental health. Learn from it. Then take steps to ensure that it doesn't happen to you again.

Dispute resolution.

This takes tact and class - and guts - but if mature parties are involved, a simple private email to the original person can go a long way to resolving a problem. And you might either emerge with a friend or at least develop a new-found respect for the other person. (Icarus nods to spare_change.)

Comments

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

I deal with fandom flare ups by not giving a shit.

I deal with FW by being friends only and filtering off the wankers.

A few years ago, I would never have believed that such behaviour would have been tolerated by fans. As another friend said, though, it's one easy way to see who are the 'undesirables' in fandom.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I deal with fandom flare ups by not giving a shit.

*Icarus bursts out laughing.* Yeah. That's about right.

I deal with FW by being friends only and filtering off the wankers.

Sad, but true. But it locks out new friends, and I'm no less friends with the people who've recently joined my flist than the people who've been around a while.

A few years ago, I would never have believed that such behaviour would have been tolerated by fans.

Interesting, I had no idea it used to be different. There really is a Ph.D. paper in this.

Icarus

[passo.livejournal.com]

A few years ago, I would never have believed that such behaviour would have been tolerated by fans. As another friend said, though, it's one easy way to see who are the 'undesirables' in fandom.

This made me think. Are we, by ignoring it, somehow helping it go on because we're not saying anything much? I know it's not practical for a single person to go against the monster that is f_w, but very few people (like Icarus dear) really view their distaste and I admire them for it.

Mostly, I just don't care. But sometimes, I suddenly realize that it actually messes up real people.

Oh well...

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

I think ignoring it is the best way of dealing with it. They're desperate for attention, "look at me, look at me, look at me" and don't care if they have to eat their own faecies to get it. Trying to reason with them is impossible, trying to stop them pointless. After all, even the KKK has freedom of speech.

Nothing wrong with expressing distaste, of course, I happily do that! Although they do 'mess up real people', real people still have the option of ignoring them, and hoping they go away.

[dejla.livejournal.com]

A few years ago, I would never have believed that such behaviour would have been tolerated by fans. As another friend said, though, it's one easy way to see who are the 'undesirables' in fandom.

Um, actually, no. One of the first 'think of the [whatever]' comments occurred back in the 70s when Kirk/Spock appeared and a correspondent in a letterzine said (quote exact AFAIR) "Think of the people dying of cancer!"

Not too many years later, two sisters who had started out as some of the earliest publishing SWars fen were ostracized for having sent a truly idiotic letter (possibly libelous) to Lucasfilm.

There is/was one very intelligent fan who could bring tears of laughter (and chagrin) by reading stories aloud. No one never truly experienced humiliation until she read his/her story aloud -- frequently with gestures and side-comments.

It's not new.

It's not pretty.

But it has existed, it does exist, and I suspect it will continue to dog fandom's steps until the day they throw us all in the slammer.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Do you think it started with the anonymity of online fandom, or did exist in some form in the pre-online fan conventions?

Icarus

[dejla.livejournal.com]

Well, on-line fandom is relatively new. When I say mid-70s, we're talking 30 years ago. I think I first got on-line in the mid-90s, but I was behind on that sort of thing.

Anonymity really has nothing to do with it. There's always been a fair amount of pointing and laughing, and the only real difference between then and now is that the audience is much larger and it's easier to track it down.

I mean, in SWars you had the Church of Ford (those fans who believed Han was the real hero of the trilogy), you had various splinter groups, you had the Darth groupies... You had everything you see now.

In some cases, I'd think it was even more vicious because you got face-to-face reactions. The letterzines began dying in the 80s as fandom became splintered.

I think when it really began to encourage anonymity was when there was no longer one central fandom, no longer one big film a summer. When the Star Trek fandom became SWars fandom became media fandom, things splintered to the point where you didn't know the people personally.


Nothing's new. You go back a hundred-fifty years and read some of the viciousness between Dickens fans and Thackeray fans.

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't mean I'm stunned at bad behaviour. We ALL do stupid things now and then. (In fact, I'm planning a book based on the many stupid things I have done in my life - I have a brilliant talent for being idiotic).

I meant the organised lynch mob. Of course, fans do love a lynch mob - we're all 'grab your torch and pitchforks' at the drop of a button. I've been in fandom 30 odd years, so I've seen plenty of those. It's just how organised, and almost 'official', this is that I find truly nasty.

As to having stories read out loud - I had that done to me - but I actually approved it, and even loved it (although I wasn't at the con to see it live) - so it wasn't quite the same. It would be awful to have it done in a nasty way, thankfully if anyone's done that to me, they haven't told me about it.

If you'd like to read the story that was read out loud, it's at:

http://www.ozemail.com.au/~brussell/wiz.htm

But now I'm waffling way off track.

[ladysorka]

I follow fandom_wank almost purely to see who to avoid.

I've been following fw since the LJ days, and I have never reported a wank. I don't even generally go read the wanks, let alone comment on them. If I do comment in the thread it's usually "I love your icon!", or something else equally boring.

What fw does do is it shows me things like "This person regularly posts death threats. Avoid them." "This section of fandom refuses to accept they might possibly be wrong. Avoid them." "These people are just nuts. Avoid them."

On the other hand, it can also make one go "Hey, this person is kind of cool. I like them."

But, at the same time, I know that the fact that I link to a couple of the fw comms right in my journal's links (hey, they're easier than bookmarks) has made some people not friend me back who were friends only and generally had a "hey, I friend back everyone" outlook. They know nothing about me at all, they simply see that "hey, she links to this place, thus she is evil."

Hmm. I seem to have lost my point. Sorry.

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

What fw does do is it shows me things like "This person regularly posts death threats. Avoid them." "This section of fandom refuses to accept they might possibly be wrong. Avoid them." "These people are just nuts. Avoid them."

Good point.

On the other hand, it can also make one go "Hey, this person is kind of cool. I like them."

Bit like the 'awful link of the day' on Something Awful. Although the SA people use it as a way of attacking people, spamming their email and guest books, they do link to some really great people and sites.

friends only and generally had a "hey, I friend back everyone" outlook. They know nothing about me at all, they simply see that "hey, she links to this place, thus she is evil."

Dunno about evil, but it's certainly a red flag.

[corvidae9.livejournal.com]

I deal with fandom flare ups by not giving a shit.

*thunderous applause*

Dude. that's exactly it. my work here is done. err... I mean your work. :D