(no subject)

[icarus]

I'm achingly missing redgoldpride now. I've taken the better part of two days off from school.

Sigh. interimminister is getting in over his head.

Sigh.

My fics aren't moving.

Sigh. *wah* I miss Ron.

Comments

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

I love Percy's responsto the Auror death - laughing at the splinchingthat the guys at work are probably either laughing <>at him or obsequiously alongside him, but not with him. Seems like the implications of that 'accident' have escaped him ;-)

And when are we going to hear about his and Harry's night?!?

-brodie

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Sigh. Femme and I are still working on it, but I've hit a snag, personally. Femme's not familiar with S/M play, so (as guessed in Dungeon_Watch) she decided Harry was not in the scene, but had toyed with bloodplay.

I'm not even remotely turned on by bloodplay. It's like... meh.

Yet I'm the one that has to provide the details, since I'm the one with the experience with the scene. So I've built up to the scene - that's general stuff. I thought I could do it, but I've got a problem now. I can't seem to write a hot story about something that turns me off.

I talked to a friend who's in the scene -- you gotta understand how safety-conscious the real players are. To suggest you're writing bloodplay, something Jay Wiseman just says 'don't do it' -- they really went off on me. Really angry at my sheer irresponsibility in even writing it. Which isn't surprising really. It perpetuates a negative stereotype the community's been trying to get rid of for years. They always, always imagine 'what would a beginner who doesn't know shit do with this'. So I got an earful about AIDS, Hepititus, encouraging people to hurt themselves. There are ways to play safely with other toys, but knives... there's just no way to guarantee you don't kill or put someone in the hospital.

Probably the guys at Mr S Leather in San Francisco would be able to help, they do everything there. But I'm still in the snag of not being turned on by bloodplay. I'll email you the rest.

There are actually three backstories, the night Harry showed up drunk at Percy's, the lunch between Harry and Percy, and then that night. They're all unfinished because I flat-out haven't had time.

I talked about quitting hp_dungeons with Isolde and Femme. I decided to continue, but step back. I'm fucking busy, and this is my last 3-4 weeks of school. No finals, all research papers and portfolios for my final grade = incredible amount of time involved. But yesterday I took some time off. I missed redgoldpride unbearably. Sigh. It's like watching the party go on without you, even if I was the one who had to step back.

I think stepping back has just made this more difficult. I should probably quit entirely, and then it'll be cold turkey, and I won't feel like this.

Icarus

[norah.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
Does it have to be hot? I mean, I think it's perfectly legit for Harry to go (having the same kind of fantasies about bloodplay that a lot of readers have) and then see (experience?) the reality (complete with carefulness though I know you wouldn't find someone careful who would cut a first-time bottom at a club, not really) and not get into it. I mean, I know we're all demanding smut, but it's fine for Harry ot get interested in a kink and not want it after all after seeing or trying it. Maybe he could just go see a scene with an experienced top/bottom and VERY careful bloodplay and realize it's not his kink - that way you cold write it in detail without it having to be hot.

Also, I haven't seen anything at hp_dungeons that specifically indicates bloodplay. Argue with hp_femme for a different kink (maybe one that a. gets you off and b. is accepted by the community) and write that instead...rope bondage and humiliation, whipping, whatever. I'm only marginally acquainted with the scene so I don't claim to have knowledge of the breadth of alternatives, but I know there's a great deal more that isn't as extreme or as frowned-upon as bloodplay.

[norah.livejournal.com]

And I can type, really I can. Just not enough coffee yet.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

There quite a few good ideas to chew on here. I'll talk it over with Femme. Though I think we are committed to bloodplay (I think) since we told Dungeon Watch that in one of the back threads.

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

From all the comments, I'd assumed that Harry had gotten into being controlled, or was submissive somehow. Bloodplay is something that I can't see the hotness of, sorry. I'm not sure if anyone could write a scene about something that turns them off - it's an intersting question, though.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Argh. That story has taken over.

*wince.* Yes, there was a story written by an HP_Dungeons fan that has gotten into everyone's mindstream, so I feel that the real story may be a disappointment or may make no impact. Especially since it's so late. That has been another angle on my frustration with this.

I really appreciate the enthusiasm on the author's part. God, it's such a compliment that they've loved the idea and the characters so much. Really, I was thrilled that someone wanted Harry/Percy enough to write it - and I think there should be more Harry/Percy in the world. I have no problem with fanfiction on any of my stories.

But, I prefer if the author checks in with me. At the very least I could have (and would have) provided some information and resources on the SM scene. Jay Wiseman's SM101. Some leather websites that have great articles on the scene. That otherwise hot story was just spoiled for me because of the wincing inaccuracies about the S/M scene. But the multiple tops converging on Harry. *cringe*

Points for all future hopeful SM writers:

- There are relatively few tops in the SM scene. Okay, there are more among men, but the vast majority (ten to one ratio) are bottoms. Really. Well, wouldn't you like it?
- The spiked collar is a stereotype.
- The outfits are usually very original and reflective of the person (and their Dom).
- There is a huge preponderance of bottoms.
- Doms deliberately display no interest in their prey - THEY ARE DOMS DAMMIT! - (ahem, excuse me. As a natural top, this irritated the hell out of me. I would never allow a submissive to know I had even an iota of interest in them. That gives them the power.)
- The play rarely includes penetrative sex.
- Very often a Dom will not even allow their sub to come.
- There are so many bottoms, and so few tops.
- The play is psychological, and based on a Dom's insight into the subs weaknesses. Say, putting a bag over the head of someone who's obviously vain.
- Or when Percy was looking around to much, goggling, the Dominitrix pulled his glasses off, and wouldn't allow him to see at all.
- The point is to fuck with their heads.
- It doesn't really matter how good-looking a top or bottom is. Oh, it's nice when they look okay, but you look for attitude and training.
- Did I mention that there are bazillions of bottoms to choose from?

Icarus

Ron misses Percy intensely, and I miss you too

[cursive.livejournal.com]

I so hate poorly conceived S/M, let alone D/s (and particularly that). Let me add an enthusiastic yes to your points, well with one hesitation.

Relatively few tops, definitely, and particularly of the dedicated kind rather than just able-to-switch. And, frankly, it's hard, and even though you need a ton of confidence to even attempt it there are still plenty that suck (I probably needed a different word for that dimissal).

The spiked collar also gets in the way, in my opinion. Both physically and symbolically.

I'm going to cavill on the "interest" point - come on... there's a mode of interest. Can we call it recognition? No, more than that. There is a form of interest, that they work for, you know what I mean, right?

There's quite a bit of penetrative sex in lesbian S/M and D/s, that is in comparison to gay and het, for reasons that probably don't need elaboration.

The orgasm thing - yeah, I was talking about that this morning. Control of orgasm, demanding control of orgasm, manipulating pleasure both in coming and, paradoxically, in not being allowed to come or... yeah it goes on and on, the variations on control of pleasure and the pleasure of control and there isn't a flat out right or wrong because it's a relationship, but the representations of D/s as about reciprocal orgasms... so missing the point.

Percy can't tell what's missing, but there's definitely a blank spot - miss you too.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

My response was way too long, so I've sent it via email.

I'm going to cavill on the "interest" point - come on... there's a mode of interest. Can we call it recognition? No, more than that. There is a form of interest, that they work for, you know what I mean, right?

Interest is not really the right word.

What I mean is it is a different mindset than what was presented. The attitude is more like hunting for prey. You zero in, discard the smaller game, and say 'that one's mine' and then start hunting. Most times I'm not interested in anyone, I look around and go - nope. But when I see someone I want, I know it immediately. It's not that they're always available, but I'm all or nothing. Maybe this is just me.

For example, I'm not lesbian or recognisably bi-sexual - I prefer cross-dressers and meek men (Percy types!), but there was this femme blonde in a real corset at the Catwalk one Halloween. Delicate and soft. It wasn't that she was pretty, it was that her gentle glee in being submissive was so apparent.

That was the one that I wanted.

Alas, she wasn't available (neither was I). She was dancing with someone who obviously her girlfriend, who wasn't the dom she deserved. Inexperienced, uncomfortable in the role. Not that I was better, but someone like that, it's like seeing a first water diamond in a cheap setting. You want her to have more, though no doubt the BYOD [Build-Your-Own-Dom] was working for her.

I did want to see her with a pro.

I dunno. The club scene I find unnatural though. There's an intimacy that's important, and when you're on display in a club, for me at least it knocks the dynamic a little off-center.

There's quite a bit of penetrative sex in lesbian S/M and D/s, that is in comparison to gay and het, for reasons that probably don't need elaboration.

I have to clarify that my experience really is as a woman dominating men. There's an obvious reason why penetration is not that common in my world.

I don't tend to use the strap-on much, not in a scene, because I feel ridiculous [Some Doms say 'well, you're putting on symbolic male parts and therefore...' Bullshit! You don't like it? It's because you feel like an idiot!]. But using it is fun, if somewhat unsatisfying. I prefer to use 'hand toys'.

My boyfriend has experience with gay male Doms, and they tend to have something specific they want and they don't veer from it.
'I want to spank you.'
'I want someone to feed and breed.'
'I want a femme slut to worship my cock.'
It's pretty damned direct and they do exactly that, no bleed over.


Icarus

Re: Percy can't tell what's missing, but there's definitely a blank spot - miss you too.

[cursive.livejournal.com]

My experience is mainly lesbian but later on some het and I've certainly watched/been around gay and het as well as a lot more lesbian. And various kinds of group arrangements. Not that I'm active because I haven't been for a couple of years and I was never very intensely into any version of that scene. Like everyone else I know personally I started on the sub side - but in my case it didn't really ever click. I was always acting in a really conscious way. I don't think I was ever spectacularly brilliant the other way either - although I do tend to have very high expectations of myself - which is probably why I could happily enough walk away when my next girlfriend disliked that scene.

There's a lot more flexibility in het D/s in my experience - the weight of stereotypes in gay and lesbian public scenes really is very powerful (for all sorts of good reasons I know I know). But I didn't mean to imply all or even most f/f D/s is penetrative, but there is a lot more, it seems to me, than in f/m.

Re: Percy can't tell what's missing, but there's definitely a blank spot - miss you too.

[cursive.livejournal.com]

And I can't believe I wrote any of that- hah! After having said I never would. Blah blah, calls to experience are dodgy - as I've said elsewhere, beign a great writer is a lot better qualification for writing a great sex scene than being a great fuck. But I can't help being irritated, because the misrepresentations make it so very very corny.

Percy can't tell what's missing, but there's definitely a blank spot - miss you too.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh, nevermind. I'll just break it into two replies.

As for Doms sucking, everyone sucks. Without exception.

I've had scenes fall so flat, it's absurd. I start hearing the B-movie soundtrack. I can be really, really good. But I can suck so badly, it's just funny. And when I'm off, I'm off. I can't do it.

The trick is the recovery when you've been going fine and just had a shaky moment - or you're just gearing up, and it's not clicking yet.

I've recovered by just snickering and throwing out a B'movie line - "mwah-ha-ha!" Sure, it blows the scene, but you've already blown it so you might as well enjoy that part, too. Then you either get back into it, or spend the rest of the night giggling. Which is fine. Just roll with it.

One of my best scenes came out of a blown one. I was just so phony, doing this policewoman thing - I'm so tiny, it didn't fit. The guy was a foot taller than me and I was hyper-aware of it. So I started joking around, and pulled a deliberately fake German accent to go with the phony role, the police hat, riding crop and the mirrored sunglasses. The energy came back up (we were laughing). So I started berating him in German. I know a little. That solved the problem of my lines being stupid - he couldn't understand me! But he got the point, though I had to physically shove him onto the bed to get it across. Ah! Police brutality.

Most people when they suck have a hard time recovering (and the submissive feels like they have to act in order to rebuild their confidence, which is when it's really bad). They know they suck, then their confidence starts spiraling, like a guy with a limp dick who can't stop thinking about it. Then they slowly suck more and more.

Call it the death spiral.

It's because they're taking themselves too seriously. A dom projects that charisma when they're zeroed in on the rest of the room. Their attention isn't on themselves.



Icarus

Re: Percy can't tell what's missing, but there's definitely a blank spot - miss you too.

[cursive.livejournal.com]

Oh a sense of humour is crucial I agree. The most impressive Dom I ever saw in action though - the ex of an ex in fact (oh the joys of lesbian scenes) - never faltered once that I ever saw, not for a second.

But I wouldn't have gone with her. It just didn't look any fun. Then again, it was always a game for me, never really serious in the way some people are.

Re: Ron misses Percy intensely, and I miss you too

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Actually, I hate the spiked collar because it's ugly.

Re: Ron misses Percy intensely, and I miss you too

[cursive.livejournal.com]

Hah! I've seen attractive ones, but not many.

I fucking lOVe you!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_madhatter_/]

Just had to let you know!

I read 'Beg me fo it' and the only word i can think of to completley describe it is....YUMMY!

I like it...so fucking much! and that is saying a lot...i'm usually strictly sirius/remus...dont know why.

I think you just converted me!

I am so adding you to mah friends list!!!

Re: I fucking lOVe you!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

WOW! Thank you! I'm friending you back. Did you read the rest of the series that follows it? Beg Me For It (http://home.earthlink.net/~dinkbird). I'm still working on the action story, SNAFU, that follows 'Hey You', but there are - what - a million drabbles for this series to snack on in the meantime.

*beams*

Icarus

[sharp-tongue.livejournal.com]

*offers sympathy and strawberries*

[adred.livejournal.com]

ICARUS:"My fics aren't moving."
(Meaning no-ones reviewing?)
They're moving in my direction. Have had problem that love them too much to stop to review and am working way through your entire portfolio. Have abandoned family and friends and own fic.
I will begin by reviewing PTTDA this week sometime. D'ya want a fangirly one or a high-brow literary nitpicking one?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oooo. Nit-picking and highbrow concrit, yum.

*Icarus gets out fork and spoon. Prepares to fence with intelligent author.*

I liked your piece, btw, it's elegantly written. (And that's saying something, since I despise Narcissa with a passion. *sporks Narcissa*) I still have to read the last chapter and will review afterwards. I want to see how she ropes Snape further into this mess.

Fangirly or concrit review?

Icarus

[adred.livejournal.com]

*Adred panics, looks shifty and counts the exits*
OK. I'm really not high-brow and literary (I'm a journalist, see?) so you will be subjected to my uneducated (gave up Lit at 18) criticisms. And I'll throw in a few big words for good measure.
I may have to be a little fangirly too, if you don't mind :-)
You liked Sins so far? Wow. And you hate Narcissa *grins widely* May I have concrit please?

[anandsdiary.livejournal.com]

Wilderness Guru asleep on my lap.

Ahhh, how achingly sweet.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*smiles* He's a snuggle. If he thinks you're busy, he'll sit down on the couch next to you. Then slump back. Then slowly lay down, nudging a little closer... and closer. "?" Hopeful. Pretty soon his head's in your lap and he's snoozing, and you're not sure how he got there.

When I was writing Primer to the Dark Arts (http://www.schnoogle.com/authorLinks/Icarus) I was in such an intense writing phase that he started to sleep on the couch next to me, pulling out the back cushions. Just because he missed me.

Awwww.

:D

Icarus