O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Treeee!

[icarus]

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Treeee!

This is the worst it's ever been. We bought our Christmas tree on December 20th, 2005.

It is now April 11th, 2006, and the bloody thing is still sitting -- dead, sans ornaments -- in our living room. wildernessguru wants to burn it. He burns the Christmas tree every year, but he's never been this late.

I have been begging, pleading, that he get rid of the damned tree.

We've reached the point where we have to sneak it out of the apartment at night so the neighbors won't know. Personally, I don't care, I'm ready to throw it out the window. But WG cares what people think so now, now it's a production.

I'm afraid we (and by 'we' I mean 'he') will have to dress in cammo decorated with hedge trimmings to sneak the tree out the back.

I'm going to be posting daily humiliating updates until the tree is finally gone.

Comments

[lillian78.livejournal.com]

You're right that's really embarassing. I'd rather be caught trying to sneak a dead body out of the house than a really overdue Christmas Tree (or the remains of one). You'd have to know my neighbors. :p

[wildernessguru.livejournal.com]

Actually, a dead body would be somewhat easier.

[caseylane.livejournal.com]

Next year? Fake. They may not be as nice but no one needs to know if the fucker is still on display for Easter Dinner.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*snickers* We'll always do the real tree, because it's the only taste of the outdoors the kitty gets.

Yes, our kitty decides these things.

Icarus

[tjstein.livejournal.com]

ack! After the apartment fire in your building he's procrastinating on throwing out a huge fire hazard? At this point it may burn before he manages to get it out of the apartment. I would so be throwing it out the window at this point. Perhaps posting humiliating updates on the apartment door for neighbors to see would give him a nudge in the right direction.

Of couse, last weekend was our annual large item trash pickup day and I saw more than one Christmas tree by the curb. So he's not alone.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it.

Of couse, last weekend was our annual large item trash pickup day and I saw more than one Christmas tree by the curb. So he's not alone.

Yes, but these people had the tree in their garage or something. We've got it, dead center, first thing you see, in our living room.

Icarus

[j00j.livejournal.com]

Dress in bright, loud colors, singing and waving the tree remains around, and inform the neighbors that it's performance art?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

In this neighborhood, that just might work....

Icarus

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Feedback sent to wrong person...

> Was it you or Icarus that did that one about the unicorn? Because I
> really liked the remix version of that. That's what had me thinking about
> it.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Hey, cool! *g* Thank you for passing that along.

Icarus

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Keep it until July and say you're celebrating Australian 'Christmas in July'. Since that's winter for us, you see. It's a semi-tradition thing here.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Waltzing Mathilda, Walzing Mathilda... and we can combine it with the performance art.

Icarus

[painless-j.livejournal.com]

Made me laugh :)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

24 hours later, the tree's still there.

Icarus

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

Eh, our (fake) tree is still plugged in on top of the TV. (It's about two feet tall.) At this point, we just use it as a lamp.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

That's what my mother does. We get a real tree for the kitty. It's fuzzhead's taste of the outdoors and it is sweet to watch him sit underneath, breathing in the fresh pine scent.

But now, now it's just a grey-green stick. With limp pine needles attached.

Do think if I shake all the pine needles off he'll be more willing to get rid of it?

Icarus

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

Two words: fire hazard.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

No kidding. Man, and we had a fire in the building last fall.

Icarus

[orange-bastard.livejournal.com]

That's really funny!

We've reached the point where we have to sneak it out of the apartment at night so the neighbors won't know.

Oh, they'll know. They'll see the trail of brown pine needles coming from your apt :D

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Shhh! If I tell him that we'll never get rid of the thing.

Icarus

[gail-b.livejournal.com]

Oh c'mon! Wait a few days and you can hang plastic eggs and bunny peeps off on it to celebrate Easter!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*dry laugh* Really. Oh my god, I can't believe it's been this long. It's not as though he doesn't have time.

Icarus

[mark356.livejournal.com]

It's traditional to keep the tree until, oh, March. Since they're usually pretty nasty by then, I can't even inagine how awful yours must be!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*head in hands* It's so bad. It's grey, not green, and the needles hang there, limply. There's cat fur clinging to the lower branches, and then strands of long hair (WG's) have clung like cobwebs to some of the upper branches.

It looks like the ghost of Christmas past.

Icarus

[literaryll.livejournal.com]

*cracking up*

That is awesome. I think you should leave it up even longer.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

At this rate....

[rike-tikki-tavi.livejournal.com]

*grins*

But getting it out the apartement shouldn't be that difficult, really.

Just get some hedge shears and cut of all the branches, while the damn thing is still inside. Waste bag with all those and the brancheless trunk a few days later is much less inconspicuous. At least that's the way we do it every year. Never gotten caught so far.

*waves*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

It's a small tree! He's just... *boots the boyfriend in the rear* ...lazy.

Next boyfriend-? I'm dating Rodney.

Icarus

[zoepaleologa.livejournal.com]

I know I shouldn't laugh. But I did. It's got the makings of a brilliant sitcom episode, actually.

and it's always pleasing in a misery loves company sort of way to see others who aren't 100% efficient

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Not 100% efficient. *grins broadly* Oh, that's a wonderful understatement.

Icarus

[lherelenfeline.livejournal.com]

oh WOW, that Is bad.
Perhaps you can cut it up into bits and carry it out in trash bags?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I'm more down with the throwing it out the window theory at this point....

Icarus

[loupgarou1750.livejournal.com]

I am deeply ashamed to say you're months away from my xmas tree record -- Dec 12 to July 4. Of course the fact that we didn't have a tree stand and therefore hung the tree upside down from a hook in the ceiling may have had something to do with it. It wasn't actually in anyone's way and, in spite of having no water for just under 7 months, it managed to stay pretty green. I guess it was the hanging upside down that did it. My roomie snuck it out of the house at 3:30 the morning of the 4th and took it to a grocery store dumpster.

[seekergeek.livejournal.com]

Wow. I thought my mom and I were the only folks that threw out christmas trees on July 4. Of course if we weren't cleaning the house for the 4th of July party, we probably would have left it up longer. *sheepish grin*

[wicked-socks.livejournal.com]

My uncle tends to keep christmas trees for years... I am very serious here. The last one he kept for 3 and the one before that for FIVE BLOODY YEARS! He just leaves it up, plugs it in when he feels festive, and constantly expounds upon the efficienty of never having to take it down. Somehow he was psychologically opposed to removing the tree while a single needle still remained. I have no idea how his house didn't burn down because these were live trees (perhaps I should say very dead trees). He's now replaced it with a fibroptic monstrosity that is at least flame retardent.


But you know what makes this worse? He sells christmas trees every year with the charity organization he works with. So it's not like he didn't have any place to get a replacement tree.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

One word: bachelor.

Icarus

[jaig.livejournal.com]

I canNOT wait.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I'm going to update on the tree situation sometime today.

Icarus

dead christmas tree

[kiranovember.livejournal.com]

I did that one year. I got really sick right before Christmas, never finished decorating it, took the ornaments off sometime in February, and bought a saw so I could cut it up and take it out in bags. Like I thought the neighbors couldn't see it, still standing there in the middle of the bay window, and wouldn't know it was gone if I hauled it away in bags.

On the other hand, if I ever need to get rid of a body, I've had the practice!